VisionAfricaMedia

By Godfred Mensah

One-parent families have been described as the fastest growing family style in the United States. Similar trends have been observed elsewhere around the globe. Caused by a record number of divorces, sudden death of a marriage partner, desertions, separations, and illegitimate births, single parent families have had far- reaching consequences for millions of parents and children.

Youngsters in single-parent families often have their own struggles. They may have to contend with intense emotions in the wake of a parent’s abrupt departure or death. For many youths, the absence of a parent seems to have a profoundly negative effect. Men who are recently divorced or widowed may likewise be bewildered by the multitude of household tasks they must now perform. For children, domestic disarray adds to feelings of instability and insecurity.

The question becomes; what can single- parents do to succeed? Proper planning and organization are essential. Task the children with some household chores, but be careful not to overload them. Assign them duties such as washing dishes and keeping their rooms clean. Do the chores together. Most single parents find it difficult to meet their financial needs and young unwed mothers usually have a particularly hard time. One way to deal with the problem is to make use of public assistance if there is any in your country. Widows and divorcees face similar challenges. Many are forced to reenter the market after years of homemaking. You can improve your lot by enrolling in job-training programs or short-term school courses.

Don’t be surprised if your children are unhappy when you seek employment, but not feel guilty. Rather, explain to them why you work to provide for their needs. However, spend much time with your children as your schedule allows. It is natural for single parents to be especially close to their children, yet care must be taken so the boundary of parent authority between parents and children do not break down. A single mother shouldn’t expect her son to take on the duties of the man of the house or treats her daughter as a confidant. Burdening a girl with intimate problems is inappropriate, stressful and perhaps confusing to a child.

Seek advice, if it becomes necessary advice from trusted family members and friends, not from your minor children. Again, be a tough disciplinarian, but try to be reasonable, consistent and firm. Avoid making hurtful speeches like; “you are like your father.” Whatever pain your ex-mate may have caused you and your children, you are still the parent of your children. It has been argued that discipline involves training and instructions, not just punishment. Many problems can be averted by a good program of spiritual training, reading the Bible with the children and going to church always, if you a Christian.
Finally, loneliness is often the biggest problem a single parent faces. It is natural to long for the warm companionship and intimacies of marriage, but should you try it at any cost?

Young and old alike allow their sexual impulses to go overboard. But you can control them. It has been suggested that the best thing to do is to deaden your sexual your sexual appetite. For instance, the same way you would do if you were trying to deaden your appetite for food. You wouldn’t read magazines featuring pictures of delicious foods, or associate with people who constantly talk about food? The same is true with fleshly desires. Surely, there is no miracle cure for loneliness, but it can be endured by thinking about your children, your future plans, and by reading wholesome books devoid of anything about pornography that focuses on getting closer to good associates.
Above all, be determined to be morally clean.

Ultimately, single parents have to carry their own load of responsibilities, but you can win the fight with a practical approach based on what has been suggested and outlined in this article. A capable woman works diligently, often working late and getting up early to start her activities. She Is well organized, delegating some tasks and using her own hands to care for others. Be conscientious about your domestic duties. Find satisfaction in such work. It adds happiness to the children.
To all single parents, you are doing a good job. It’s worth all the time, effort and energy you have and continue to put into it.